Kicks count

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30 weeks

So being a midwife everyone assumes that you know everything and therefore will be an expert at all things pregnancy. I mean yes, of course I would like to think I know most things. Before maternity leave I spent my days giving women advice about their growing bumps filled with precious little miracles.

But, there is one big but… when you are carrying your own precious little miracle, all the information you’ve gathered and knowledge you have gained, goes out the window.

Now as most of you will know I have recently given birth to my gorgeous baby boy. He is my first child, so being a first time mummy, I was just like every other. I wasn’t a midwife, I was just an expectant mummy. From the second you know there is a tiny little peanut growing inside, you develop this overwhelming instinct to protect them.
During my pregnancy I had an anterior (at the front) placenta, now this means that my baby’s kicks were cushioned as such, meaning that I couldn’t feel him kick as much or as strong as say a mummy with a posterior (at the back) placenta. Now of course, this means that your baby should still move as much as normal, but maybe the pattern your baby develops isn’t as active as another, or maybe it is but you just can’t feel it as much. Every baby and every mummy is different. You will get to know your own baby’s pattern of movements. Or so they say… I found it really difficult to work out my baby’s pattern, he never seemed to move much at all. Maybe he was just lazy, not sure where he gets that trait from. This didn’t stop me worrying about him, I would spend my days filled with worry, pleading him to give me a little reassuring kick just so I knew he was ok.
Having been a qualified midwife for over 4 years, I have seen many women coming into the triage unit, complaining that there baby isn’t moving much, and just wanting that reassurance that their little one is ok. Mostly when I would see those women, as soon as they heard the heartbeat on the monitor, the baby would then go into a dancing frenzy, leaving a very embarrassed mummy, pleading honesty that the baby hadn’t done this all day. And then there were the times where I would be putting the heartbeat monitor on to an ever growing bump and I would be able to feel the baby moving and kicking around happily, excitedly saying to the expectant Mum, there you go look, baby is moving fine, only to get back that they couldn’t feel it.
Never having had a baby myself, I thought this was the strangest thing, maybe they just liked coming in and hearing the heartbeat, maybe they just wanted the reassurance from a professional. Who knew.

Well now I know! It’s all true. Having now been through it myself! My colleagues at work asking why I had such a worried look on my face, knowing that I just desperately wanted my baby to move so I knew he was ok, there I found myself, being a patient, time and time again, and being the same embarrassed faced mummy that as soon as the straps touched my tummy my baby would start dancing to the tune of his own heartbeat.

Now over the years the advice has changed on baby’s movements. It used to be counting how many times a day your baby moved, however we all know everyone is different, little growing babies included, some are crazy and move 24 hours a day, and some not so crazy and may only move once or twice a day. That’s fine. That’s why the advice changed to ‘whatever is normal for your baby’. Only you know your growing baby best. Only you know when it is normal for your baby to move and how much. Saying this, one thing I did find valuable whilst I was pregnant was the ‘Kicks Count’ app. It has a kick counter on there which I used numerous times.
There were many days at the end of my pregnancy were I was super busy moving house (yes I know, call me crazy but it seems the done thing to move house at 36 weeks pregnant) and on some of those days I would stop and wonder ‘have I felt my baby move today’ Days when you are super busy, you just don’t often think about it. Those were the days I used the app, I made myself sit down with a cold drink and opened the app. I would make myself sit there for an hour, just concentrating on the most important thing, my baby. Every time I felt a little kick, I would press the button on the app. At the end of the hour I would look back and think, oh yes he is moving lots, I just had been too busy to notice. It just gave me the reassurance that he was still kicking about as he should. Especially with baby brain well and truly setting in, it just gave me a visual to look back on.

The most important thing is that your baby is moving normally for you. The app is great to have just for some slight reassurance, however if you are at all worried about your baby, then please contact your local maternity triage unit. Midwives are always there to give you reassurance and advice to ensure that your precious little bubba is dancing away inside as he/she should be.

My top tips:

* If you have had a busy day, take an hour for yourself to just concentrate on the most important thing. Whether that be having a soak in the bath or going to sit on the sofa.
* Keep well hydrated. If you are worried about your baby’s movements, have something cold to drink or something sugary to eat
* If you are still concerned, please call or attend your triage unit for reassurance the same day.

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Another episode of reduced movements!
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A CTG machine monitoring my baby’s heart rate!

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Kicks count app!

What my kid wore Wednesday #2

Welcome to another week of what my kid wore Wednesday! I hope you are all having a  good week. I would love to see what your kids have been wearing this week.

Leave a comment with your fav outfit!

This week we have gone for this casual outfit. I love putting Baby O in comfy joggers and tee’s, I feel it just allows him to move around more freely.

 

T-shirt H&M, Joggers LFT Baby, Hoody Zara Baby, Cap H&M

 

IMG_5609IMG_5611IMG_5608Trying to get a picture of this little monkey that is blog worthy is becoming quite a task, tackling him to try and keep him still otherwise we have blurry hands and feet, trying to take away his slobbery teething toys and keeping hats on his head!! Oh well this is what we have to work with – its a good job he is cute!

What my kid wore Wednesday #1

Welcome to what my kid wore Wednesday! This is something that I have been following for a while now over on this mama life and thought I would take the plunge and give it a go.

For my first post I am sharing with you this gorgeous outfit from H&M.

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I am loving H&M at the moment and spent far to much in there the other day (whoops)
I think it is the perfect spring time outfit, cool and light so that Baby O doesn’t get too warm but still so funky looking! Oh boy!

 

 

Now it’s your turn!
The rules are simple:
* Grab the code below and pop the badge on your post so more people can find us to link up.
* Link your post up below.
* Use the hashtag #whatmykidwore on social media and mention @ThisMamaLifeUK and @HannahJane_UK. We’ll RT everyone that does.
* Visit and comment on other posts that have linked up. If you are first pop back later. Linkys are about sharing the love, they don’t work if we don’t all participate!

Little one tag

I was tagged by Kai over at kaidenlaverty to take part in the Little One tag #littleone. It’s a fun set of questions where you imagine how your little human would answer if they could!!

Here we go!
What’s the best thing about being 6 months old?
I have my mummy and daddy and everyone else for that matter wrapped around my little finger. I like to fake cough whilst eating to worry mummy, that’s funny. And I love to cry when anyone walks away so they come back to play with me.

What’s your favourite toy?
I’m not sure I have a favourite, but up there is my moo moo cow that sings to me and my Ferris wheel that sticks to my highchair. I also love playing with my links, I like to bash people with those when I get excited.

Favourite thing to do?
I like going out for the day with my best pal Jessie, I also love pulling daddy’s beard. That’s pretty funny.

Favourite outfit?
I don’t think I have a favourite outfit, I’m a boy so I don’t really care what mummy puts me in much. Although I know mummy has lots of favourite outfits, those are generally the ones I poo all over.

Favourite TV programme?
I really like Masha and the bear. I love watching naughty Masha so that I can copy her mischievous ways when I’m a bit bigger.

Favourite book?
I have a lot of books and I like them all. Mumma or dadda generally read me a story before bed, it makes me feel sleepy, but sometimes I scream as I remember sleep is for the weak!

Favourite food?
I just love eating in general. Mummy try’s to give me vegetables and fruit but it’s much better when daddy feeds me chocolate and toffee sauce when mummy isn’t looking.

Favourite song?
I like it when mummy does row row row the boat with me, it makes me laugh. I also like 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed because mummy does a funny dance. She’s silly.

What makes you laugh?
When daddy plays arms up – arms down with me and when mummy plays peek a boo. Those guys are silly

Who do you love and why?
I love my Dada, Mumma and aunties. I really love my nana too, she buys me lots of presents.

I tag:

Lisa – Mummy Gummie

Susie – This is me now

I look forward to reading what your little ones have to say.

Thanks for the Tag, and we hope you enjoyed this little bit of light hearted fun

A Faint Line

 

Fast forward just over a week. The 26th January came, my period due date, and it went. It was a Tuesday and I was working the next 3 long days at work. The next 3 days came and went also, no Aunt Flo. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t take a test, as there was no need, I wasn’t pregnant right? I had a negative test the week before. Also my periods were always all over the place, so this was normal for me right? In the back of my mind I was holding on to a tiny glimmer of hope that I might, just might be growing a little miracle. However I told Dan that if I hadn’t come on by the Friday, which was my next day off then I would do a test. Dan didn’t think I should, as after having to come clean about taking a sneaky test the week before, he thought we should wait another week to see if my period arrived. I think I had drummed it in to him so much that it wouldn’t happen straight away he thought there was no way this early for it to be possible, so he was trying to reassure me that my period was always late so just wait another week, rather than take an early test (again) and be disappointed (again)

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The very first pee stick!! Its POSITIVE!!

Friday morning came and Dan had convinced me I wasn’t pregnant, I was reluctantly awaiting Aunt Flo to arrive. I had laser eye surgery booked in for 10.10, so I was up at 7am unable to sleep. Dan of course was still snoring happily not nervous at all that he was paying for his wife’s eyes to get zapped. The night before I had been reading all the paperwork and had came across a section about pregnancy. See your not allowed laser surgery if you are pregnant, I thought nothing of it. I wasn’t pregnant right, I knew that. But for some reason, reading that line gave me butterflies. I must just be nervous I thought.

7.30 am – I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer, what if I was pregnant and I’m just about to go and get laser eye surgery that I know your not allowed if your pregnant. What if I was pregnant and something bad happened, I would blame it on the laser surgery and would never be able to forgive myself. I had another first response test in the drawer. Aunt Flo was now 3 days late. I peed on the stick and waited. I put the pee stick on the edge of the bath whilst still sat on the toilet… why do we do that, feel the need to not move from the toilet until you get the result (or is that just me) … I waited the full 3 minutes this time, let’s do it properly. 3 minutes later… I slowly turned the stick over, and there it was, right in front of my eyes.

Was that a faint line?? Was I still just too tired, I rubbed my eyes a few times. It was definitely there. My heart was in my throat and the tears started to stream down my face. We had done it, we had created a little miracle.

 

 

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Baby Mills

 

 

29th January 2016 – 7.30am, the day our lives changed forever, the day we found out we were about to embark on the best journey of our lives

 

 

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How I announced the news to D x

 

Pregnant or Paranoid

As you are all aware, we entered the world of all things fertility and baby making in late last December. Typically as the person I am, I had done untold amounts of research into fertility over the past monthsand already every day found myself wondering if and when it will happen.

Its such a surreal experience, constantly thinking ‘I wonder if there is a little bean in there yet’ but fighting with your thoughts and telling yourself don’t be silly it won’t happen that quickly, and trying your hardest to be ok with that thought.

Now in the past I have been the type of girl who constantly thinks she is pregnant – there is always one. Despite taking my pill properly, every month before what I can only assume would be my ‘time of the month’  nature plays a cruel trick and the symptoms of early pregnancy mimic the symptoms that your just about to have your monthly. I always had that little thought in the back of my mind – what if? Of course I never was.

So we were 5 weeks in to our adventure after coming off the pill, and entering into that zone of ‘actively trying’ (I hate that term but there’s no other way to put it) I began feeling very strange, thats the only way I can describe it, oh and hormonal – poor Dan. Again I took to the trusty internet, as a healthcare professional this is one thing we always tell our patients not to do, however I think we all know deep down that google is the first place you turn to if you need to know anything, health related or not, So here I was sitting there googling ‘can you fall pregnant before having your first period after coming off the pill?’ Mixed answers – great. Before I was on the pill I had never had a regular cycle (which worried me) and in my endless hours trawling the internet I had found out that women often had problems regaining there monthly’s after coming off the pill. So I was in two minds, I was desperate for Aunt Flo to visit – just so I knew I had gone back to normal (here’s to the only time wishing for her visit in this journey) and on the other hand just hoping it didn’t come and I was already pregnant. Wishful thinking – 6 weeks to the dot after stopping all contraception, I had an unwanted visitor.

So thats out the way – phew, at least my body works again but oh boy did I suffer, 2 years of no periods, I say no more (Sorry TMI) So she had visited, I did not want to see that time of the month again, heres to hoping ay?

I had been using this app on my phone, that I loved and still use now – Its called P Tracker Lite, so i plugged all my information in and it tells me when I am supposedly fertile and the day I am ovulating, you know the one.

As I sat here and was writing this, I had been increasingly thinking that maybe I was pregnant. I can only describe it as I felt different. I had been having such bad stomach cramps, low down like something is pulling or stretching and if I moved funny or cough/sneeze the pain is agony and my boobs ached, like all the time, and they felt very heavy, I mean I know my boobs are probably quite heavy anyway but it just feels different. For anyone that knows me knows that I love my food (I probably shouldn’t love it as much as I do as my body pays for it as a result, and I have far too many lady lumps in the wrong places) but I have been trying to cut down on foods I shouldn’t have, you know trying to be a bit more healthy to prepare my body for pregnancy, so I am eating enough but if I wasn’t eating every couple of hours I felt really shaky and dizzy, once I eat this feeling subsides. I had also been in a state of not fancying certain types of foods, to the extreme of one night I went without dinner because I didn’t fancy anything – now for me this is the weirdest of weird as I will literally eat anything.

I had a neurology appointment and my consultant was over the moon that we had decided to try and conceive (TTC), she was also thrilled that I had been headache free for months, except for the past week – I had had a headache every day, is it because my hormones are messing around, more than likely, and does all this mean I am pregnant or I am just about to get a visit from a very unwanted visitor

So 9 days post ovulation (DPO) I spent the whole day sat on the sofa, watching crap on youtube and researching all things about becoming a baby mumma, when I found myself watching videos about other women’s TTC journey’s. I was watching one, and this particular girl had all the same symptoms as me and had got a big fat positive (BFP) 8 DPO – so I did it, yep thats right I took a test.

Dan was away on a snowboarding trip, so as I was weeing into the pot, it did enter my mind, what if its positive, how would I tell him, It wouldn’t be as special telling him over the phone right?, but could I really keep it a secret for another 4 days and not tell a single soul.

I dipped the cheap pound land stick into the shallow pot, Duchess sitting staring at me…. and waited.

Nothing – a big fat negative (BFN)!! Again those same 2 thoughts raced through my mind, utter disappointment, and the realist thought of well that was obvious, I haven’t even missed a period yet. That didn’t stop me thinking though, that maybe it didn’t work because it was a cheap test (who was I kidding) cue the crazy, irrational thinking again, and off I go to the kitchen to fill up my bottle and down the whole thing… Back to the toilet, armed with a superdrug test – these ones are supposed to be good, or so google tells me.

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Nothing – another BFN

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Maybe I should just wait until, I hopefully, miss a period!

 

2016: A year in review

Well it has certainly been a year of highs and lows, but one thing I do know is that it has been one of the best years of my life.
Who would have thought that after the way 2016 started, us crying into fleecy blankets, on the sofa hoping and praying that our fur baby would pull through her operation, that it would end with us again snuggled on the sofa, but this time, tears of happiness in our eyes as we look down at our peacefully sleeping little boy in our arms. Our very own little baby boy – wow!
All of our dreams have come true!
Happy New Year everyone
J, D & Baby O xx

 

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Our first scan of Baby Mills
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Baby Shower Day – 35 weeks pregnant
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Proud Daddy and Baby O
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Our gorgeous Baby Boy x